#2

Pornography has been always been a part of my life since i discovered my second oldest brothers porn collection when i was around 11 or 12 (i'm 30 now), and I can honestly say from that point that pornography in some form has been in my life on a daily basis, in fact more so when we had the internet installed back in 1997. I was/am a naive person and when i found my brothers stash i didn't really understand what was happening or what i was looking at. I just knew i liked the look of it. I come from a religious family (well my Mam is very much an active member in the catholic church) and sex wasn't discussed openly with me, i remember how anything vaguely sexual was shown on the TV i was ushered out of the room, which left me with this confusion about why i wasn't allowed to watch what was on and made me more curious. From what i can remember the content varied from the early AIDS advertising campaign on British TV to James Bond, to, and for some reason i remember this vividly because it was ridiculous, Nenah Cherry singing a song called 'I've Got You Under My Skin' which was being used in a campaign about raising the awareness of AIDS. Thanks Dad.

One thing i remember from that period was the 'Facts of Life', whenever i heard that it sent a shiver down my spine. I waited in dread for 'the talk' from my Dad but it never occurred, maybe if it he had sat me down and just explained things to me about sex and love and life in general i wouldn't have had to find out for myself. But maybe i should've asked, i don't know prevented me. Anyway, 2 books helped through the strange beginnings of my teenage years 'Teenage Diary of a Health Freak' and 'The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole'. I read through these thoroughly and it became handy to know i had them to turn to, but there is only so much a book can tell you and they aren't able to put across emotions or other stumbling blocks you develop as you progress through being a teenager. I'll try and work out how i became so dependant on pornography in future posts.