Weird weekend. My head is all over the place. Not just with the porn or anything, i've spoken to 3 people since i finished work on Friday and all of those were over the phone. Received a couple of texts from a friend who i hadn't heard from for a long time. He's happily settling down with a girl he met a year or so ago, another old acquaintance is pregnant expecting in July and her brother met a girl over the internet and is moving to Inverness to be with her. I've not left the house since i went for a takeout on Friday. This is normal for me though, some weekends it's like this, cooped up at home for a couple of days only to leave the house for work on Monday and hardly speak to anyone. I'm the definition of a loner.
As for the porn, well, i've been surfing by proxy. I've deliberately been to sites that would eventually divert me away to look at naked women, it's similar to 'oh look, how'd this site get here with these naked teens on it?? oh well i'm here now i best investigate". I did download a HC movie as i used to but once it served it's purpose i shredded it.
I dunno sometimes i feel i'm on the edge of losing the plot. I know the answers are simple, or at least seem simple, but it's overcoming the fear to get back out there. I'm the living example of pent up frustration. I did see this coming, and it goes to show it's going to be a long path to getting rid of this fixation. Worst thing is the folks are away until next weekend and it's going to be a long week.
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Hey man, sucks that you kinda slipped up. Don't give up. I know how the loneliness can really eat at you at times. I work from home and really the only interaction I have with other people is with my wife, which is great but I do need to get out of the house every once in a while. Anyway, I hope things aren't too difficult for ya in the next week. Here's hopin.
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