#8 (work safe vid btw)

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I suppose i've put this video up to show how porn has become such a mainstream sort of everyday occurrence now. Technically not porn i know, worksafe XXX, but sadly whilst it's all in jest all i could think about is where i could find the sources for all those videos and have i got anything similar on my back up disks. There will be people out there who can see it for what it is, and can see porn for what it is, exploitative and tacky and just mind-numbing idiocy of men and women acting badly acting as if this is what sex is all about. Today i fell off the wagon well and truly. I haven't searched for porn on the internet at all for the past 7 or so days and then the usual happened, it was a link from a link which lead to imagefap, which had categories which i just had to check. Fuck. Naturists. Teens. You name it. All the demons i'm trying to get out from my head just took over again. Heart started pumping and i began to sweat, seriously this is like my rush or something, and in my heart of hearts i know it's fucked up but short term it fills a gap, it smooths over the cracks, its my way of pushing out the reality of life. Fact of the matter is, i'm incredibly lonely, single, zero confidence, zero self esteem, but for those few moments none of that exists.

If i'm going to make a go of this i can't just go cold turkey, it leaves me feeling all pent up and after a few days i just feel, well, horny. I need to space it out, need to gradually move away.

Now where's that drawing board?